flower meanings

I love looking up the meanings behind things. Today? It's the meaning of flowers. So intriguing.

It may sound ridiculous, but I never really thought about what kind of flowers I want at my *fingers crossed* future wedding, but I realized what I want a few years back. White carnations and deep red roses. The combo? Such an awesome meaning - practically the same as the combo of white and red roses, but I just love the simplicity of carnations. Plus, they're cheaper. :P

This may sound ridiculous, but I've already decided that - who knows when the day will come, but I think, even though most, no, all of my negatory income currently is going towards my education and housing, I want to, after tithing, once I get a job (long enough sentence yet?), to save a small amount or a certain percentage of each paycheck for my future wedding. Again, might sound ridiculous, but all the same, even if I'm only able to save... $10/week? ...over a year that amounts to $520. Weddings are OUTRAGEOUSLY expensive anymore, no matter how much you save and do-yourself. I just feel, considering the economy, and my current finances, and the way finances have always been in my life, that it's an important thing for me to be saving for. Well, in addition to needing to pay for rent, food, tithe, and saving for my "emergency fund" and whatnot else... ulgh. money how i hate you.


Today is busy. Just like I anticipated. I don't think my test went as badly as I thought it was going to go. But all the same, I didn't really study for it all that much. Today I'm hoping to go to bed around midnight, but maybe write that editorial tonight and then get up at like, 6 tomorrow and study for my midterm that's at 11... well, somewhere around there. I'm still going to my 10am lecture, but I'll have to leave early to get to the midterm. Lamesauce.

But my orchestra concert is tonight. Hopefully this will mean the end of my back pain, which is induced by the awful chairs they make us sit on in LaSells. Not to mention my muscles being sore in general from playing so much - which I don't ordinarily, because I don't practice. I know, shame on me. But seriously, I wish I could practice more than I do, but at the same time, I'm more than shocked that I'm the highest placed violin OSU student in the orchestra. I'm not a major or a minor. I'm sitting above numerous majors and minors and professionals. What the deal is, I have no idea. Why other conductors have liked me in the past I have never really understood. Regardless I've only recently really been able to grasp how important music is in my life and how important the violin is and how incredible it is that I have excelled in music as I have without putting in a whole lot of effort. Sure I've had hard times and spent hours practicing and going to rehearsals - but I guess it's that it's paid off. Look where I am now. Did I think way back when I was in Jr Orchestra, sitting last stand 2nd violin that I'd be 4th chair in a university symphony with only hired professionals sitting above me? and that I'd be the concertmaster when they weren't there? Heck no!

This concert will end the winter term season, so after tonight, I'll be done for the term. which will be nice. But I'll miss it.

I get to take a quiz later this week about finding what my strengths are. Authentic Happiness is the website. CAPS directed me there. I think it's more to find out what I'm good at and where my strengths really are so that I can focus more on the good stuff rather than lingering on the negative in my life. It's a cool concept. All that positive psychology and such.

Anyway, time to chug the last of my coffee before dance rehearsal.
God help me.

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